Yes! What they never say is that the alternative to aging isn't eternal youth. It's death. What a gift to age. To earn our crowns of wisdom and our laugh lines. To make it one more year. It is hard to buck the beauty/self help machine and celebrate aging, but ive seen a few folks age well, and I'd love to try. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. ❤️
After losing my mom and my father in law and seeing too many people my age (or younger) succumb to illness or accident, I have nothing but gratitude for every new line on my face. If I'm lucky enough to get old enough to have a head of grey hair I'll be thrilled. Aging is a privilege.
On an episode of the podcast Wiser Than Me, one of the guests said to reframe the question "how old are you?" To "how many years have you lived?" Aging, she said, is just living - and that's a beautiful thing, something to be celebrated.
You also quoted the first poem I ever memorized - Sonnet 116. I was obsessed with it ever since I heard it in Sense and Sensibility. And what a beautiful message -- "love alters not."
Thank you so much for this! I have similar feelings. There is a certain dread to every gray hair and wrinkle I find, but I’m simply much to lazy to start obsessing over a skin care routine that I apparently should have begun 10 years ago.
I once overheard one college student say to another, very seriously: “Don’t laugh so much! You’ll get wrinkles!” And I felt so sad for both of them. I want to have all the laugh lines on my face because I want to truly LIVE.
can we all just agree to rebrand all wrinkles as smile lines? idc where they are on your face or what actually caused them, they're smile lines folks, get onboard.
After my mom beat colon cancer over a decade ago, she never returned to dying her hair. She said she was thankful for the grays, for the gift of more years and to grow old.
I loved this so much. I have loved aging. Yes, my high definition camera can be a bit jarring sometimes, but as you say it is such a joy to age with the one we love. I also have adored seeing my husband grow older and even handsomer, I love having the wisdom and calm confidence and not-caring that comes with finding my fulfillment and joy in raising a family and running a household. It’s amusing but enlightening that younger women tell me they look up to me. Aging is such a blessing, because life is a blessing. One of my best friends died when we were 21. It’s strange to think of him frozen in time, so young, while the rest of us get to experience all the richness of “later” life (since I am also 37 and we are hardly very old!)
At 32 I’m starting to notice the first signs of aging, and trying to approach them with gratitude. I think of my grandmother and her friends who are beautiful, still full of life, still playing cards and getting together for happy hours in their 80s. What a gift it is to grow old. Thanks for this reminder, Haley and I’m so sorry for your loss.
Love this Haley❤️ I remember seeing a quote as a college student that said, " Do not resent growing older. It is a privilege denied to many." It hit me hard, because that week another student had died suddenly. Every day is truly a gift.
I've lost some close friends and family in the last year or two, all in their early 50s. I'm quite content to be aging, gracefully or not. Each day is a gift.
Thank you for sharing this, I found it all so relatable -- there are other things I prefer to focus (and invest my money) then trying to look like I am 21 again (also currently 37..). Plus every grey hair is a little bit more wisdom earned, right? 😉
I love this so much, Haley. I’m 31 and already have quite a bit of gray so I might look older than I am, but looking younger is not a priority. I just want to be alive with my husband and children. I agree with you that gratitude for life is the right antidote to the anti-aging obsession.
I’m reading Narnia for the first time with my kids and this is exactly how they describe Susan at the end. She spent her teen years trying to be 22 (or whatever) and she’ll spend the rest of her life trying to stay that age. So incredibly sad.
Love this! Such great words of wisdom. Personally, I've always expected my #BestLife would be as a chubby Italian grandmother, serving up carby comfort food in unconscionable quantities and snuggling my grandbabies on my ample lap. Never mind that I'm not Italian and my husband is the cook in the family...I think I can get there on smile lines and extra thigh/butt fat alone ;)
I turned 35 in April and this year I have noticed more signs of aging than ever before. It seems they suddenly ramped up. At 33, I started to feel the pressure of the anti-aging scam. But at 33, I also started to be comfortable and confident in just being WHO I AM. I was not this way in my 20s, but thankfully I didn’t have signs of aging then, or who knows to what extremes I would have gone. (Actually, I do know what I would have done, because at age 21, I made a surgical alteration to something on my face that I didn’t like, and now that I am 35 I regret changing something about myself so permanently. It may not have met societal standards, but it was ME!)
My early-twenties sister just suggested to me that if I can’t go without a bra for a backless dress because of my less-than-perky boobs, perhaps I should get breast surgery. “Just a lift!” she wrote. I laughed.
There’s excitement in the rebellion of pushing back against the lie that how I look is the most important thing about me, and looking young is worth investing my time and effort into. Being and feeling healthy is much more important to me, as well as investing in eternal things. But, I don’t know that I would have felt this way if there weren’t older, more mature, wise women who showed me this path. I hope I can in turn do the same for those younger than me in my sphere of influence.
At 35 I also spend more time thinking about my/our mortality. As bizarre as this is, it keeps things in perspective. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I am also thankful for the idea of being grateful for years lived and for aging... and the signs of it. Your post was beautiful!
Beautifully said! And I confirm these thoughts at the age of 58. While I don't feel older, that number sounds an alarm. I just try to squash the noise and focus on the beautiful present :)
Yes! What they never say is that the alternative to aging isn't eternal youth. It's death. What a gift to age. To earn our crowns of wisdom and our laugh lines. To make it one more year. It is hard to buck the beauty/self help machine and celebrate aging, but ive seen a few folks age well, and I'd love to try. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. ❤️
Thank you, Dawn.
After losing my mom and my father in law and seeing too many people my age (or younger) succumb to illness or accident, I have nothing but gratitude for every new line on my face. If I'm lucky enough to get old enough to have a head of grey hair I'll be thrilled. Aging is a privilege.
On an episode of the podcast Wiser Than Me, one of the guests said to reframe the question "how old are you?" To "how many years have you lived?" Aging, she said, is just living - and that's a beautiful thing, something to be celebrated.
You also quoted the first poem I ever memorized - Sonnet 116. I was obsessed with it ever since I heard it in Sense and Sensibility. And what a beautiful message -- "love alters not."
I've been obsessed since S&S, too!
The first one I memorized too! I was 16. That was 44 years ago. Grateful for all the years.
Thank you so much for this! I have similar feelings. There is a certain dread to every gray hair and wrinkle I find, but I’m simply much to lazy to start obsessing over a skin care routine that I apparently should have begun 10 years ago.
Lol, yes!
same! Every time i remember to wear sunscreen on a day i'm not at the beach i give myself a little pat on the back for my tremendous accomplishment
I once overheard one college student say to another, very seriously: “Don’t laugh so much! You’ll get wrinkles!” And I felt so sad for both of them. I want to have all the laugh lines on my face because I want to truly LIVE.
can we all just agree to rebrand all wrinkles as smile lines? idc where they are on your face or what actually caused them, they're smile lines folks, get onboard.
After my mom beat colon cancer over a decade ago, she never returned to dying her hair. She said she was thankful for the grays, for the gift of more years and to grow old.
My mom's a cancer survivor and I think she feels the same way.
I loved this so much. I have loved aging. Yes, my high definition camera can be a bit jarring sometimes, but as you say it is such a joy to age with the one we love. I also have adored seeing my husband grow older and even handsomer, I love having the wisdom and calm confidence and not-caring that comes with finding my fulfillment and joy in raising a family and running a household. It’s amusing but enlightening that younger women tell me they look up to me. Aging is such a blessing, because life is a blessing. One of my best friends died when we were 21. It’s strange to think of him frozen in time, so young, while the rest of us get to experience all the richness of “later” life (since I am also 37 and we are hardly very old!)
At 32 I’m starting to notice the first signs of aging, and trying to approach them with gratitude. I think of my grandmother and her friends who are beautiful, still full of life, still playing cards and getting together for happy hours in their 80s. What a gift it is to grow old. Thanks for this reminder, Haley and I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m in the same boat, so I feel this on so many levels.
I started going grey in my early thirties and decided that was too long a time to dye my hair. Now people stop me to tell me how beautiful it is.
Love this Haley❤️ I remember seeing a quote as a college student that said, " Do not resent growing older. It is a privilege denied to many." It hit me hard, because that week another student had died suddenly. Every day is truly a gift.
I've lost some close friends and family in the last year or two, all in their early 50s. I'm quite content to be aging, gracefully or not. Each day is a gift.
Thank you for sharing this, I found it all so relatable -- there are other things I prefer to focus (and invest my money) then trying to look like I am 21 again (also currently 37..). Plus every grey hair is a little bit more wisdom earned, right? 😉
I love this so much, Haley. I’m 31 and already have quite a bit of gray so I might look older than I am, but looking younger is not a priority. I just want to be alive with my husband and children. I agree with you that gratitude for life is the right antidote to the anti-aging obsession.
I found my first gray hair on my 30th birthday which was a bit...on the nose, lol.
I’m reading Narnia for the first time with my kids and this is exactly how they describe Susan at the end. She spent her teen years trying to be 22 (or whatever) and she’ll spend the rest of her life trying to stay that age. So incredibly sad.
Love this! Such great words of wisdom. Personally, I've always expected my #BestLife would be as a chubby Italian grandmother, serving up carby comfort food in unconscionable quantities and snuggling my grandbabies on my ample lap. Never mind that I'm not Italian and my husband is the cook in the family...I think I can get there on smile lines and extra thigh/butt fat alone ;)
I turned 35 in April and this year I have noticed more signs of aging than ever before. It seems they suddenly ramped up. At 33, I started to feel the pressure of the anti-aging scam. But at 33, I also started to be comfortable and confident in just being WHO I AM. I was not this way in my 20s, but thankfully I didn’t have signs of aging then, or who knows to what extremes I would have gone. (Actually, I do know what I would have done, because at age 21, I made a surgical alteration to something on my face that I didn’t like, and now that I am 35 I regret changing something about myself so permanently. It may not have met societal standards, but it was ME!)
My early-twenties sister just suggested to me that if I can’t go without a bra for a backless dress because of my less-than-perky boobs, perhaps I should get breast surgery. “Just a lift!” she wrote. I laughed.
There’s excitement in the rebellion of pushing back against the lie that how I look is the most important thing about me, and looking young is worth investing my time and effort into. Being and feeling healthy is much more important to me, as well as investing in eternal things. But, I don’t know that I would have felt this way if there weren’t older, more mature, wise women who showed me this path. I hope I can in turn do the same for those younger than me in my sphere of influence.
At 35 I also spend more time thinking about my/our mortality. As bizarre as this is, it keeps things in perspective. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I am also thankful for the idea of being grateful for years lived and for aging... and the signs of it. Your post was beautiful!
Beautifully said! And I confirm these thoughts at the age of 58. While I don't feel older, that number sounds an alarm. I just try to squash the noise and focus on the beautiful present :)
So sorry for the hurt with losing your friend.