The question of “Is motherhood painful or am I just weak?” Is one I have asked myself A LOT and have almost always come to the conclusion that it’s painful because I’m weak. Absolutely loved this essay, Haley. What a balm. Did the nurses ever see and acknowledge your pain? Did they apologize? I had a similar situation with our second. I was sent home when I definitely should have been admitted.
They didn't! In their defense, I imagine that it could put the hospital at risk of getting sued if they verbally admit fault? I mean, it was my fourth baby so not my first rodeo! And I wrote in my birth plan that they had right there in a little folder: "I do not have textbook deliveries. I have precipitous labors and go from early labor to pushing very suddenly."
I am not a mother, but this hit close to home. I am so lonely with no women friends, and when I suffer the loneliness of having no friends to confide in is so hard to bear! I can’t imagine how much worse I will feel once I have children with no female companionship.
Oh. This was so beautifully written. As someone who is 10 months postpartum for the first time, this hit home on so many fronts! I was lucky to have a friend see through the “we’re making it” social etiquette response when she asked how we were doing and basically strong armed me to have coffee (“I’ll make it decaf since you’re breastfeeding so you can’t say “no” was her actual response). It was in that moment I realized just how much I was craving someone to see me (and someone other than my dear husband who was doing his best while also sleep deprived). Nothing quite prepares you for how isolating being a new mother can be.
I have such a strong memory of a friend who came over and tidied up our house and put fresh flowers out in a vase and held the baby for awhile when our first was born. We were so young that none of our friends had kids yet and didn't know how to support us. I felt so loved that day.
See Haley, this is how I know you take the Sacraments regularly. Because any other woman (no? just me?) would have smacked that nurse and threatened everything from a lawsuit to an atomic wedgie. God bless you for your example of generosity and restraint, I hope I’m just like you when I grow up (or when I deliver my next baby in January, whichever comes first).
What a beautiful message. I love that you have a favorite mystery of the rosary. You’ve helped me to realize that I think I do too! What a beautiful thing. And where that can lead us. I will have to ponder more about this….
The question of “Is motherhood painful or am I just weak?” Is one I have asked myself A LOT and have almost always come to the conclusion that it’s painful because I’m weak. Absolutely loved this essay, Haley. What a balm. Did the nurses ever see and acknowledge your pain? Did they apologize? I had a similar situation with our second. I was sent home when I definitely should have been admitted.
Same - that line is going to resonate in my head for a long time!!
They didn't! In their defense, I imagine that it could put the hospital at risk of getting sued if they verbally admit fault? I mean, it was my fourth baby so not my first rodeo! And I wrote in my birth plan that they had right there in a little folder: "I do not have textbook deliveries. I have precipitous labors and go from early labor to pushing very suddenly."
I am not a mother, but this hit close to home. I am so lonely with no women friends, and when I suffer the loneliness of having no friends to confide in is so hard to bear! I can’t imagine how much worse I will feel once I have children with no female companionship.
Loneliness is hard no matter what, Emma! I'm so sorry that you're in a season without close friends. That is so hard.
My love, this is fixable! We are here for you! Email me if you want a WhatsApp and Zoom buddy - eliz.atkins@gmail.com
Oh. This was so beautifully written. As someone who is 10 months postpartum for the first time, this hit home on so many fronts! I was lucky to have a friend see through the “we’re making it” social etiquette response when she asked how we were doing and basically strong armed me to have coffee (“I’ll make it decaf since you’re breastfeeding so you can’t say “no” was her actual response). It was in that moment I realized just how much I was craving someone to see me (and someone other than my dear husband who was doing his best while also sleep deprived). Nothing quite prepares you for how isolating being a new mother can be.
I have such a strong memory of a friend who came over and tidied up our house and put fresh flowers out in a vase and held the baby for awhile when our first was born. We were so young that none of our friends had kids yet and didn't know how to support us. I felt so loved that day.
See Haley, this is how I know you take the Sacraments regularly. Because any other woman (no? just me?) would have smacked that nurse and threatened everything from a lawsuit to an atomic wedgie. God bless you for your example of generosity and restraint, I hope I’m just like you when I grow up (or when I deliver my next baby in January, whichever comes first).
Well, I felt like I had a lot of closure and vindication after having a baby at them!
This is so beautiful Haley.
Thank you, Phoebe!
What a birth story!!
This is beautiful Haley and so hits the point of the experience of motherhood, including the suffering, that we are so blessed to experience!
What a beautiful message. I love that you have a favorite mystery of the rosary. You’ve helped me to realize that I think I do too! What a beautiful thing. And where that can lead us. I will have to ponder more about this….
A very dramatic birth!
Congratulations!! What an incredible story!