I don't know the details of your situation, but it sounds like it may be similar to something that happened to my sister when, on Good Friday 2012, FBI agents forced entry into her home and gave her news that upended her life. My sister is a Protestant, but she found solace in the Catholic understanding that there is a category of marriages that are unlawful and therefore invalid. The man she thought was her husband had hidden some serious information from her since their relationship began, so she did not enter their union with full knowledge. That man's dysfunction was not her responsibility. She protected herself immediately and moved forward. I have always admired her decisive action, her resolve, and her strength to leave the past behind.
Whatever the particulars of what you've been through, Haley, may God continue to bring peace and healing to you and your kids.
Your description of what happened after you discovered the truth, while heartbreaking, is beautiful. I’m sure it must be devastating, but thank you for being brave enough to share what happened to you. So many of us go through devastation in our lives for various reasons, and seeing someone pick up and keep going is vital.
I used to read Carrots for Michaelmas when I was in college and hearing your story then felt like it gave me the permission I needed to eventually stay home with my babies without feeling like I was shortchanging my intellectual life. You have done so much good for so many people! I'm praying for you and your family ❤️
Whenever I get overwhelmed by anxiety, I remind myself that whatever happens, we aren’t alone. I think one of the biggest lies that anxiety/the devil tells us is that we are on our own in hardship. Thanks for reminding us that we are not, and I’m still mad about the price you had to pay for this insight. ❤️
Haley- I have been a quiet reader for more than 13 years, reading about the birth of your Lucy while I was waiting for my Liam to be born. Much has changed in 13 years, much has remained, but I want you to know that your sharing opened my awareness and turned me toward intentional living grounded in that-which-is-good more deeply than I had previously thought to consider in my many years of Catholic life. We are so very different, but I am a better me because you have shared so much of you. Because of your sharing of self, I have thought to delve- and have delighted in the finding of so many parts of self that I had not previously considered.
I am as shaken and as touched by your current suffering as I would be by that of a friend- I think because, all these miles and words and years later, you are a friend. So please take heart, friend. We are all praying for you, for your children, and for your peace. -Caitlin
Haley, I’ve been a long time reader of your blog(CARROTS!) and other posts and online articles of yours. Claire S. and Tsh O are other online Catholic writers (to name a few) who have encouraged and impacted me for the past decade. You and I have kids the same age (I have five girls ranging in age from 9-18) and when I was homeschooling, a friend recommended your blog. I loved the way you brought feast days to life! I know that there are thousands and thousands of other Catholic moms who have been blessed and encouraged my your words. And we will surely be praying for you. God is very near to you.
I, too, have had a terrifying experience that will impact me for the rest of my life. This was several years ago and I can still remember every detail. It was not my husband who rocked my world, it was another family member. And I resonate deeply with the way you described your situation. God is KEEPING you near!!
(God willing, my mom, sisters and I will be joining the pilgrimage in June.)
You said you won’t ever be able to repay… That is the wonderful thing about grace. Rich Mullins once said he had a friend whom he owed $20 and he couldn’t bring himself to pay it back because it felt so humbling to be in debt to him. Crazy, I know. But there is a backwards logic to it. Maybe it’s the disparity between the “I owe” and the friend’s “fageddaboudit.” Because with true friends, there’s no expectation. There’s just love.
I read last week's newsletter and was blown away at how much it resonated with me, and my current situation. It was profoundly impactful. My wife and I suffered the loss of our daughter at 40w+ stillbirth in June of this year. We have been crushed and broken. Some days are good, but it seems that most are impossibly hard. Your writing on suffering amidst tragedy is beautiful. I am sorry for whatever the circumstances are of what you are experiencing, but happy to have found your substack and your beautiful words. Will be praying for you and offer a Mass for you as well.
As a long time reader of the Carrots blog I have followed your family, Haley, for years and prayed for all of you, too.
You are gaining the marvelous benefits now of our closeness to one another in the Communion of Saints, brothers and sisters coming to the aid of those in distress. By the grace of God and all our prayers you will find peace and joy.
Ach. Reading this week's mail leaves me in tears. I spent a decade walking through the bewilderment of divorce and I remember that feeling of being completely blindsided - where you can barely find ways to put one foot in front of the other to make it through a day. I pray every good thing for you and the kids. Our good Father has so many good things coming for you all and I remember my complete inability to access that truth in the worst moments. And I pray God sends you the best songs. They were so often the voice of the spirit to me.
Continuing to pray for you, and so thankful that you've been wrapped in a blanket of love of friends and family during this terrible time. It's because of that love and your faith that you ARE going to be ok. Thank you for the gifts you share <3
I don't know the details of your situation, but it sounds like it may be similar to something that happened to my sister when, on Good Friday 2012, FBI agents forced entry into her home and gave her news that upended her life. My sister is a Protestant, but she found solace in the Catholic understanding that there is a category of marriages that are unlawful and therefore invalid. The man she thought was her husband had hidden some serious information from her since their relationship began, so she did not enter their union with full knowledge. That man's dysfunction was not her responsibility. She protected herself immediately and moved forward. I have always admired her decisive action, her resolve, and her strength to leave the past behind.
Whatever the particulars of what you've been through, Haley, may God continue to bring peace and healing to you and your kids.
"this too shall pass" "and all shall be well and all shall be well and all shall be well..."
you're a class act and a force of nature Haley!
Your description of what happened after you discovered the truth, while heartbreaking, is beautiful. I’m sure it must be devastating, but thank you for being brave enough to share what happened to you. So many of us go through devastation in our lives for various reasons, and seeing someone pick up and keep going is vital.
I used to read Carrots for Michaelmas when I was in college and hearing your story then felt like it gave me the permission I needed to eventually stay home with my babies without feeling like I was shortchanging my intellectual life. You have done so much good for so many people! I'm praying for you and your family ❤️
Whenever I get overwhelmed by anxiety, I remind myself that whatever happens, we aren’t alone. I think one of the biggest lies that anxiety/the devil tells us is that we are on our own in hardship. Thanks for reminding us that we are not, and I’m still mad about the price you had to pay for this insight. ❤️
Haley- I have been a quiet reader for more than 13 years, reading about the birth of your Lucy while I was waiting for my Liam to be born. Much has changed in 13 years, much has remained, but I want you to know that your sharing opened my awareness and turned me toward intentional living grounded in that-which-is-good more deeply than I had previously thought to consider in my many years of Catholic life. We are so very different, but I am a better me because you have shared so much of you. Because of your sharing of self, I have thought to delve- and have delighted in the finding of so many parts of self that I had not previously considered.
I am as shaken and as touched by your current suffering as I would be by that of a friend- I think because, all these miles and words and years later, you are a friend. So please take heart, friend. We are all praying for you, for your children, and for your peace. -Caitlin
Haley, I’ve been a long time reader of your blog(CARROTS!) and other posts and online articles of yours. Claire S. and Tsh O are other online Catholic writers (to name a few) who have encouraged and impacted me for the past decade. You and I have kids the same age (I have five girls ranging in age from 9-18) and when I was homeschooling, a friend recommended your blog. I loved the way you brought feast days to life! I know that there are thousands and thousands of other Catholic moms who have been blessed and encouraged my your words. And we will surely be praying for you. God is very near to you.
I, too, have had a terrifying experience that will impact me for the rest of my life. This was several years ago and I can still remember every detail. It was not my husband who rocked my world, it was another family member. And I resonate deeply with the way you described your situation. God is KEEPING you near!!
(God willing, my mom, sisters and I will be joining the pilgrimage in June.)
May the peace of Christ guard your heart. sarah
You said you won’t ever be able to repay… That is the wonderful thing about grace. Rich Mullins once said he had a friend whom he owed $20 and he couldn’t bring himself to pay it back because it felt so humbling to be in debt to him. Crazy, I know. But there is a backwards logic to it. Maybe it’s the disparity between the “I owe” and the friend’s “fageddaboudit.” Because with true friends, there’s no expectation. There’s just love.
I read last week's newsletter and was blown away at how much it resonated with me, and my current situation. It was profoundly impactful. My wife and I suffered the loss of our daughter at 40w+ stillbirth in June of this year. We have been crushed and broken. Some days are good, but it seems that most are impossibly hard. Your writing on suffering amidst tragedy is beautiful. I am sorry for whatever the circumstances are of what you are experiencing, but happy to have found your substack and your beautiful words. Will be praying for you and offer a Mass for you as well.
As a long time reader of the Carrots blog I have followed your family, Haley, for years and prayed for all of you, too.
You are gaining the marvelous benefits now of our closeness to one another in the Communion of Saints, brothers and sisters coming to the aid of those in distress. By the grace of God and all our prayers you will find peace and joy.
Bless you, Haley. Love your work. Glad you’re here.
Haley -- have you ever read Girl of the Limberlost? I think you'd like it. It came to mind when you mentioned Anne Shirley. Love to you ❤️
Ach. Reading this week's mail leaves me in tears. I spent a decade walking through the bewilderment of divorce and I remember that feeling of being completely blindsided - where you can barely find ways to put one foot in front of the other to make it through a day. I pray every good thing for you and the kids. Our good Father has so many good things coming for you all and I remember my complete inability to access that truth in the worst moments. And I pray God sends you the best songs. They were so often the voice of the spirit to me.
Continuing to pray for you, and so thankful that you've been wrapped in a blanket of love of friends and family during this terrible time. It's because of that love and your faith that you ARE going to be ok. Thank you for the gifts you share <3
I identify strongly with the desperate need to remain in motion after my own life blew up. After the adrenaline comes the stillness.
Hey, Haley. Tryna and I just found out this week. I’m shocked, angry, and sad.
No response expected, just continue to breathe!