Well, let’s just be clear. She did owe her ecclesiastical leadership an explanation - which she rendered. We don’t need to know - true. But never forget - if you’re a Christian you’re supposed to be under authority.
Two weeks after I got married, my parents announced the end of their nearly 30 year marriage, and revealed a host of hidden wounds. I say this so that you know when I say that I’m praying for you and your family, it comes from a deep place of (some) understanding and compassion. When your kids are ready, Life Giving Wounds is a Catholic ministry for children of divorce that has been incredibly healing for me. Thank you for your vulnerability, and for trusting us to offer spiritual sacrifices for your family.
Oh, Haley, I am so sorry. I have loved following you since your pregnancy with Hildie. You will all be in my prayers. Seven years ago my youngest son (35) died in an accident and two weeks later his Dad, my husband of 39 years took his life. The few remaining people in my small family all fractured and are still not talking. There are a few bright spots-- including a grandson and a second marriage to my high school sweetheart, and a BIG move from CA to the Midwest. I like what Kate Bowler says and writes: Life is so beautiful, and life is so hard. Much, much love to you, dear girl. 💗
Haley, none of us who are divorced ever EXPECTED to be divorced. I've been a single mom since 2007, with my divorce final in 2009. My boys were 10 and 7 (twins!) when my world imploded due to crack cocaine and crystal meth. I hung in there for one more year after he was sentenced to 8 years in prison, but nothing could repair the damage done -- the lies, the horrific names he called me, the despicable things he accused me of. Finally, on the advice of my lawyer, my pastor, and my parents, I filed for divorce. I lost everything we had. I had been a SAH mom for 8 years, and had to find a job and a new place to live.
You know what? GOD IS SUFFICIENT! I cannot tell you how many miracles He performed for us. We never once went without food, power, water, or gas in the car. He provided a GREAT job (still there after 17 years!), a great place to escape to, and the love of my church, my family, and my friends sustained us until we could recover and get back on our feet.
It was not easy. There were many tears, and there were many times I wasn't sure of my next step, but without fail, God would provide an answer as plain as day.
Would I ever want to go through that experience again? No way! But...did I learn to lean on Him? Oh, yes, ma'am, I did!
In the book of Job, God never reveals to Job why he suffered. I suspect it was to serve as an example to the rest of us. My suffering has been able to help others in my church going through rough times. Your suffering will allow you, in time, to reach out and help others, too.
I’m so shocked and so grieved to hear this, Haley.
Your family has had a special place in my heart and I love you all so much, even though you never hear from me. It’s hard to understand. Praying for you and your family.
I’m just a stranger on the internet but I’m praying for you and your children. I’ve followed you on IG for some years and quietly admired you. I will be purchasing something to support you.
My parents’ 36-year marriage suddenly imploded two years ago, and they are still negotiating the divorce. While the situations do not mirror exactly, I can relate to suddenly seeing someone you thought you knew in a completely different light. I’m so sorry this has happened. Prayers from 🇬🇧
My mom was blindsided by finding out that my father was not fit to be a father years ago. I was in 3rd grade. She was an immigrant and he was a US citizen. She made it. Got her citizenship while working multiple jobs and going to school. It wasn’t easy but she did it. I’m her youngest and I just turned 50. My parents’ divorce changed our lives but siblings and I survived. We are so close to each other and our mom.
You got this Haley. I’m praying for you. I’ll have my mom pray for you too. ❤️
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing! I also got divorced recently (3 months ago) and I am struggling with the dichotomy which is being a Catholic devoted to the Church and the perception that I was divorcing for selfish reasons. Transitioning to single motherhood has been difficult, but I also feel the most myself I have for years (my ex-husband was abusive and I slowly descended into despair).
After 30, yes 30 years of marriage mine also ended in divorce, we had actually been together from the time I was 17 until I was 48 . That was 12 years ago, and I also have two teenage sons. I understand what you have been through, and will be through. My prayers for you and your children, and may God Bless you all with a loving and bright future. Yours in solidarity, Lauren 🙏🙏
Oh Haley, I am so sorry you are going through this. I am resubscribing (I had to stop because finances, but I’m good now) and I will definitely be praying for you and your kids. ❤️
I’m so sad to hear this! I’ve been following you since you were deathly ill with your adorable last child! My hurt is crushed that you were so hurt by this stupid person who delved into horrible choices! God love you and preserve you and your children in hope! We know he never disappoints!
Haley, I have followed you for many, many years. When my own children were much smaller, I turned to “Carrots for Michaelmas” to find joy in the mundane and to help me grow in my own Catholic faith when it felt really hard at times. I, too, had “stumbled upon certain discoveries” in my previous marriage, and tried everything to make it work, but God gave me permission to leave. I felt that in this post, that you getting the support from family, friends, and your priest, that it was God saying to you: “daughter of mine, I love you and this is not the plan I have for you.”
I can tell you that it gets better. Not necessarily easier, but better. Thank you for sharing this, even though you didn’t need to. I prayed for you last night at Benediction after my kids’ faith formation classes. You are strong, and you will come out of this even stronger. God speed, Haley!!!
Another internet stranger here to say that my family and I will be praying for you. Your work and writing has been so inspirational to us, and you continue to be so as you navigate such a painful cross while seeking to hold onto your faith. We will definitely be finding some ways to support you. May the Crucified Christ hold you close to his Sacred Heart.
Haley, you have my prayers. Today would have been my 25th wedding anniversary…alas, like you, I had a different and unexpected experience in year 21 of my marriage. And I divorced as a result. We are better now as a couple and family. I pray that you and your family heal and that God provides for you in all of the meaningful ways that count.
There is hope around the corner and at the dawn of each new day. God bless.
I am so sorry to hear this. I had a feeling that this was your news. I will continue to pray for you and your family. You are definitely not the only Catholic online who has had to go through this process as you know. Word on Fire better not try to pull anything while this news is now public. I am glad to continue my subscription to support you and your family going forward.
Haley, I am still praying for you and the kiddos. I don’t have anything helpful for your specific circumstance, but as you are on the process of grieving what was and healing for what will be, I encourage you to consider something my therapist tells me (and my teenagers): when I am tempted to answer ‘I’m fine’ to remember that ‘fine’ is an acronym. When we say we are fine, we are almost always one (or more) of the following: Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, Exhausted. Because my teenager usually pronounces it as two syllables (fin-eh), I add Hungry to the list. It makes us face ourselves in the mirror and be honest with how we really feel in that moment and that helps us in our journey of grieving and healing. I wish and pray the absolute best for you. You are an amazing human and you are right: you are so, so alive.
You owe no one an explanation of what happened, but thank you for giving us the opportunity to pray for you and your beautiful children. ❤️
As Debbie said, thanks for giving us the chance to pray for you and your kids. Praying from the Philippines.🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Well, let’s just be clear. She did owe her ecclesiastical leadership an explanation - which she rendered. We don’t need to know - true. But never forget - if you’re a Christian you’re supposed to be under authority.
Two weeks after I got married, my parents announced the end of their nearly 30 year marriage, and revealed a host of hidden wounds. I say this so that you know when I say that I’m praying for you and your family, it comes from a deep place of (some) understanding and compassion. When your kids are ready, Life Giving Wounds is a Catholic ministry for children of divorce that has been incredibly healing for me. Thank you for your vulnerability, and for trusting us to offer spiritual sacrifices for your family.
Oh, Haley, I am so sorry. I have loved following you since your pregnancy with Hildie. You will all be in my prayers. Seven years ago my youngest son (35) died in an accident and two weeks later his Dad, my husband of 39 years took his life. The few remaining people in my small family all fractured and are still not talking. There are a few bright spots-- including a grandson and a second marriage to my high school sweetheart, and a BIG move from CA to the Midwest. I like what Kate Bowler says and writes: Life is so beautiful, and life is so hard. Much, much love to you, dear girl. 💗
Oh Melinda! ❤️
Haley, none of us who are divorced ever EXPECTED to be divorced. I've been a single mom since 2007, with my divorce final in 2009. My boys were 10 and 7 (twins!) when my world imploded due to crack cocaine and crystal meth. I hung in there for one more year after he was sentenced to 8 years in prison, but nothing could repair the damage done -- the lies, the horrific names he called me, the despicable things he accused me of. Finally, on the advice of my lawyer, my pastor, and my parents, I filed for divorce. I lost everything we had. I had been a SAH mom for 8 years, and had to find a job and a new place to live.
You know what? GOD IS SUFFICIENT! I cannot tell you how many miracles He performed for us. We never once went without food, power, water, or gas in the car. He provided a GREAT job (still there after 17 years!), a great place to escape to, and the love of my church, my family, and my friends sustained us until we could recover and get back on our feet.
It was not easy. There were many tears, and there were many times I wasn't sure of my next step, but without fail, God would provide an answer as plain as day.
Would I ever want to go through that experience again? No way! But...did I learn to lean on Him? Oh, yes, ma'am, I did!
In the book of Job, God never reveals to Job why he suffered. I suspect it was to serve as an example to the rest of us. My suffering has been able to help others in my church going through rough times. Your suffering will allow you, in time, to reach out and help others, too.
We all love you!
God is good all the time!
I’m so shocked and so grieved to hear this, Haley.
Your family has had a special place in my heart and I love you all so much, even though you never hear from me. It’s hard to understand. Praying for you and your family.
I’m just a stranger on the internet but I’m praying for you and your children. I’ve followed you on IG for some years and quietly admired you. I will be purchasing something to support you.
My parents’ 36-year marriage suddenly imploded two years ago, and they are still negotiating the divorce. While the situations do not mirror exactly, I can relate to suddenly seeing someone you thought you knew in a completely different light. I’m so sorry this has happened. Prayers from 🇬🇧
My mom was blindsided by finding out that my father was not fit to be a father years ago. I was in 3rd grade. She was an immigrant and he was a US citizen. She made it. Got her citizenship while working multiple jobs and going to school. It wasn’t easy but she did it. I’m her youngest and I just turned 50. My parents’ divorce changed our lives but siblings and I survived. We are so close to each other and our mom.
You got this Haley. I’m praying for you. I’ll have my mom pray for you too. ❤️
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing! I also got divorced recently (3 months ago) and I am struggling with the dichotomy which is being a Catholic devoted to the Church and the perception that I was divorcing for selfish reasons. Transitioning to single motherhood has been difficult, but I also feel the most myself I have for years (my ex-husband was abusive and I slowly descended into despair).
Godspeed, Haley. See you in heaven!
Grace Demers
After 30, yes 30 years of marriage mine also ended in divorce, we had actually been together from the time I was 17 until I was 48 . That was 12 years ago, and I also have two teenage sons. I understand what you have been through, and will be through. My prayers for you and your children, and may God Bless you all with a loving and bright future. Yours in solidarity, Lauren 🙏🙏
Oh Haley, I am so sorry you are going through this. I am resubscribing (I had to stop because finances, but I’m good now) and I will definitely be praying for you and your kids. ❤️
I’m so sad to hear this! I’ve been following you since you were deathly ill with your adorable last child! My hurt is crushed that you were so hurt by this stupid person who delved into horrible choices! God love you and preserve you and your children in hope! We know he never disappoints!
Haley, I have followed you for many, many years. When my own children were much smaller, I turned to “Carrots for Michaelmas” to find joy in the mundane and to help me grow in my own Catholic faith when it felt really hard at times. I, too, had “stumbled upon certain discoveries” in my previous marriage, and tried everything to make it work, but God gave me permission to leave. I felt that in this post, that you getting the support from family, friends, and your priest, that it was God saying to you: “daughter of mine, I love you and this is not the plan I have for you.”
I can tell you that it gets better. Not necessarily easier, but better. Thank you for sharing this, even though you didn’t need to. I prayed for you last night at Benediction after my kids’ faith formation classes. You are strong, and you will come out of this even stronger. God speed, Haley!!!
Another internet stranger here to say that my family and I will be praying for you. Your work and writing has been so inspirational to us, and you continue to be so as you navigate such a painful cross while seeking to hold onto your faith. We will definitely be finding some ways to support you. May the Crucified Christ hold you close to his Sacred Heart.
Haley, you have my prayers. Today would have been my 25th wedding anniversary…alas, like you, I had a different and unexpected experience in year 21 of my marriage. And I divorced as a result. We are better now as a couple and family. I pray that you and your family heal and that God provides for you in all of the meaningful ways that count.
There is hope around the corner and at the dawn of each new day. God bless.
I am so very sorry, Haley. God be with you and your kids.
I am so sorry to hear this. I had a feeling that this was your news. I will continue to pray for you and your family. You are definitely not the only Catholic online who has had to go through this process as you know. Word on Fire better not try to pull anything while this news is now public. I am glad to continue my subscription to support you and your family going forward.
WOF has been incredible through this whole ordeal. Very grateful! ❤️
I am glad to hear it, and I will remain cautiously optimistic. I am extremely skeptical of WOF, so I hope they will continue in this positive vein.
Haley, I am still praying for you and the kiddos. I don’t have anything helpful for your specific circumstance, but as you are on the process of grieving what was and healing for what will be, I encourage you to consider something my therapist tells me (and my teenagers): when I am tempted to answer ‘I’m fine’ to remember that ‘fine’ is an acronym. When we say we are fine, we are almost always one (or more) of the following: Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, Exhausted. Because my teenager usually pronounces it as two syllables (fin-eh), I add Hungry to the list. It makes us face ourselves in the mirror and be honest with how we really feel in that moment and that helps us in our journey of grieving and healing. I wish and pray the absolute best for you. You are an amazing human and you are right: you are so, so alive.