To be honest I think it's mostly motivated by her pride. She doesn't have any female friends - the only woman in her station that could be her friend she is jealous of, though she won't say it in those words. She just gets irritated when the aunt won't stop bragging about her. She's annoyed at her piano prowess. Emma wants a friend that doesn't threaten her self-perception/self-deception. She wants a companion that makes her feel good about herself.
Emma has way too much time on her hands and no one with whom to spend it, other than her needy father. She needs "a project," and regretfully, chooses Harriet as her project. In today's world, a part-time job, as she is responsible for the management of the home, would help, or volunteer work or a course of study.
I just can’t help rooting for Emma after her humiliation. Who hasn’t been, publicly or privately, humiliated and resolved to do better? Yes of course, you can’t just magically become a better person, but this turning towards virtue is a repetitive part of life. Harriet definitely helps Emma to avoid working on herself, and does not hold Emma responsible for her misjudgment. Chapter 18 is simply my favourite so far. Emma and Mr. Knightley both have insightful things to say. As much as I love him, I find that Knightley could have more room for charity, whereas Emma makes too many excuses for other people to fit them into her idea of their character. Ultimately I agree with Knightley that action is necessary for virtue, not just words and intentions.
Boredom is definitely a key motivator. Loneliness after the loss of Ms. Taylor us another. And you see these factors unite in her intimacy with Harriet. Harriet is beautiful to look at and has a fairytale quality to her with her poverty, mysterious background, and sweet personality. Emma can position herself as a sort of “fairy godmother” to Harriet’s Cinderella, turning her into a true “lady” modeled after Emma (who sees herself as an ideal to emulate ). I also think the idea of being to Harriet a bit of what Miss Taylor was to her is floating around in the back of Emma’s mind. The sad thing is that, if Emma were less prideful and more focused on Harriet’s needs over her own, the intimacy could be mutually beneficial. It could teach Emma responsibility and bring Harriet some intellectual improvement. As it is, the intimacy only partially lives up to its potential. Harriet, under Emma’s guidance, unwisely rejects a good man in favor of pining after a not so good one, and Emma has her pride puffed up to new heights only to have it come crashing down. The silver lining is the hope that suffering will teach them both wisdom.
I agree that Emma is lonely, and could benefit from a friend around her own age. I think that she was poorly served by the way she was doted on by Miss Taylor and her father, and developed an inflated view of her own judgment. Mr Knightly seems to be the only one who ever challenges her ideas. Someone like Jane Fairfax who is her equal in ways Harriet isn’t (age, education, intellect) could have challenged her more, which is probably why Emma doesn’t seem to want her as a friend- she doesn’t want her ideas challenged, or to face her own flaws. Hearing Jane praised for her virtues caused Emma to dislike her out of jealousy rather than inspiring her to work on increasing her own virtue in those areas. Harriet doesn’t have the ability to be a good influence on Emma, and Emma isn’t currently acting as a good influence on Harriet, although maybe she could be if she had a clearer view of her own flaws and was working on them.
Mar 24, 2023·edited Mar 24, 2023Liked by Haley Stewart
I've always thought the friendship with Harriet Smith is the biggest flaw in this book. It makes no sense to me that a person WITH sense, like Emma, even if it would be better not to have it all than misuse it as she does (to quote Mr. Knightley!), would go NUTS hanging around someone like Harriet. Pride doesn't cut it as an explanation, in my book. So I have always just had to suspend disbelief and go with it. I like this book, but it's much more take it or leave it than the others, and I think this is why.
I agree that Harriet is not ultimately going to be a satisfying friend for Emma. BUT Emma is so self-absorbed at the beginning of the novel that she would rather be flattered than be challenged. I think we can all think of people we know who prefer to be followed around by an adoring admirer than to dive into a real friendship that will help them grow. It's an immaturity issue that most people grow out of and I don't think Emma has grown out of it quit yet! Over time she certainly would have tired of Harriet but she's getting so much validation from the friendship that it's feeding a need for her.
I think another factor is that Harriet's parentage is unknown. Her past is a blank slate in which Emma can indulge her flights of fancy and fill in as she pleases. So she imagines her as a gentlemen's daughter which means she also gets a companion closer to her in station. We also see Emma do this to lesser extent with Frank Churchill in her talk with Mr. Knightly. All she has to know about him is the nicely written letters he sends his father and second hand knowledge of the aunt which isn't much to go on. And as Mr. Knightly points out, nice words don't mean anything without actions to back them up. Normally I'd say imagination is a good thing but I think Emma needs to curb hers and come back down to earth.
I totally agree. I think once Emma gets married and matures as a woman because of her relationship with Mr Knightley she would see Harriet in a different light. Not as a contemporary but a nice neighbor.
It’s a while since I’ve read it, but I think Emma is lacking in friends her own age. There are not many women her age in the novel (Jane Fairfax is not a permanent member of her society, even if they did get on better) and she doesn’t have many friends. So I think in part she is lonely.
Harriet admires her and Emma feels she can help her, which Emma finds gratifying.
I also think her mother being dead and her father being / claiming to be unwell, has placed responsibilities on her that maybe it shouldn’t have and everyone has assumed she is a bit more grown up than she is.
But you also have to blame the classist society at the time. That sets up a dynamic that Emma is better than Harriet and should be looking to help her. It also isolates Emma from friendship with some of the young women who are in the village or thereabouts.
I agree that part of Emma's issue may be a lack of the maturity that she is assumed by some to have because of her family circumstances have given her a position of certain responsibility.
Good points. I had a related question. When Emma says that she couldn't be friends with her if Harriet married mr. Martin, was that Emma's pride/prejudice against his/their class, or would it have been seen as unseemly for her to associate with them? I mean, she visits the Bates ladies, and I think they aren't as high as she is socially? Or are they?
The Bates family were ‘distressed gentlefolk’ I.e. they had been a similar class to Emma (perhaps not as wealthy), but had fallen on hard times. Miss Bates did not marry and that might have given them difficulties. I guess a bit like the Dashwoods in Sense and Sensibility. Similar vein in this book (but angrier): https://persephonebooks.co.uk/products/alas-poor-lady?variant=31828811972675
Mr Martin might be better off financially than the Bates, but he was from a different class so Emma couldn’t see them, but had a duty to be kind to the Bates.
In a way it is pride/prejudice, but not Emma’s so much as society’s. It’s set in a highly classist society.
A bit later when some people started making money from trade, they were able to start moving in higher levels of society, but looked down on for making money that way.
To be honest I think it's mostly motivated by her pride. She doesn't have any female friends - the only woman in her station that could be her friend she is jealous of, though she won't say it in those words. She just gets irritated when the aunt won't stop bragging about her. She's annoyed at her piano prowess. Emma wants a friend that doesn't threaten her self-perception/self-deception. She wants a companion that makes her feel good about herself.
Absolutely. She is so easily threatened!
Emma has way too much time on her hands and no one with whom to spend it, other than her needy father. She needs "a project," and regretfully, chooses Harriet as her project. In today's world, a part-time job, as she is responsible for the management of the home, would help, or volunteer work or a course of study.
If she had only actually read all of the books she proposed to read!
I just can’t help rooting for Emma after her humiliation. Who hasn’t been, publicly or privately, humiliated and resolved to do better? Yes of course, you can’t just magically become a better person, but this turning towards virtue is a repetitive part of life. Harriet definitely helps Emma to avoid working on herself, and does not hold Emma responsible for her misjudgment. Chapter 18 is simply my favourite so far. Emma and Mr. Knightley both have insightful things to say. As much as I love him, I find that Knightley could have more room for charity, whereas Emma makes too many excuses for other people to fit them into her idea of their character. Ultimately I agree with Knightley that action is necessary for virtue, not just words and intentions.
Boredom is definitely a key motivator. Loneliness after the loss of Ms. Taylor us another. And you see these factors unite in her intimacy with Harriet. Harriet is beautiful to look at and has a fairytale quality to her with her poverty, mysterious background, and sweet personality. Emma can position herself as a sort of “fairy godmother” to Harriet’s Cinderella, turning her into a true “lady” modeled after Emma (who sees herself as an ideal to emulate ). I also think the idea of being to Harriet a bit of what Miss Taylor was to her is floating around in the back of Emma’s mind. The sad thing is that, if Emma were less prideful and more focused on Harriet’s needs over her own, the intimacy could be mutually beneficial. It could teach Emma responsibility and bring Harriet some intellectual improvement. As it is, the intimacy only partially lives up to its potential. Harriet, under Emma’s guidance, unwisely rejects a good man in favor of pining after a not so good one, and Emma has her pride puffed up to new heights only to have it come crashing down. The silver lining is the hope that suffering will teach them both wisdom.
Elise, this makes more sense than anything I've ever heard.
Thank you!!
I think this is why I have a hard time with Emma. This *could* be a good relationship but she'd rather approach it from the fantasy angle.
I agree that Emma is lonely, and could benefit from a friend around her own age. I think that she was poorly served by the way she was doted on by Miss Taylor and her father, and developed an inflated view of her own judgment. Mr Knightly seems to be the only one who ever challenges her ideas. Someone like Jane Fairfax who is her equal in ways Harriet isn’t (age, education, intellect) could have challenged her more, which is probably why Emma doesn’t seem to want her as a friend- she doesn’t want her ideas challenged, or to face her own flaws. Hearing Jane praised for her virtues caused Emma to dislike her out of jealousy rather than inspiring her to work on increasing her own virtue in those areas. Harriet doesn’t have the ability to be a good influence on Emma, and Emma isn’t currently acting as a good influence on Harriet, although maybe she could be if she had a clearer view of her own flaws and was working on them.
Harriet is a friend who will not make demands on Emma and who will see Emma exactly as she sees herself.
You put that so well!
Thanks!
Yes, this! Emma treats Harriet like a puppy who will just adore her and keep her company.
I've always thought the friendship with Harriet Smith is the biggest flaw in this book. It makes no sense to me that a person WITH sense, like Emma, even if it would be better not to have it all than misuse it as she does (to quote Mr. Knightley!), would go NUTS hanging around someone like Harriet. Pride doesn't cut it as an explanation, in my book. So I have always just had to suspend disbelief and go with it. I like this book, but it's much more take it or leave it than the others, and I think this is why.
I agree that Harriet is not ultimately going to be a satisfying friend for Emma. BUT Emma is so self-absorbed at the beginning of the novel that she would rather be flattered than be challenged. I think we can all think of people we know who prefer to be followed around by an adoring admirer than to dive into a real friendship that will help them grow. It's an immaturity issue that most people grow out of and I don't think Emma has grown out of it quit yet! Over time she certainly would have tired of Harriet but she's getting so much validation from the friendship that it's feeding a need for her.
I think another factor is that Harriet's parentage is unknown. Her past is a blank slate in which Emma can indulge her flights of fancy and fill in as she pleases. So she imagines her as a gentlemen's daughter which means she also gets a companion closer to her in station. We also see Emma do this to lesser extent with Frank Churchill in her talk with Mr. Knightly. All she has to know about him is the nicely written letters he sends his father and second hand knowledge of the aunt which isn't much to go on. And as Mr. Knightly points out, nice words don't mean anything without actions to back them up. Normally I'd say imagination is a good thing but I think Emma needs to curb hers and come back down to earth.
I totally agree. I think once Emma gets married and matures as a woman because of her relationship with Mr Knightley she would see Harriet in a different light. Not as a contemporary but a nice neighbor.
Rationally, all that makes sense. It just does. not.computer for me at a visceral, real-life level. :)
It’s a while since I’ve read it, but I think Emma is lacking in friends her own age. There are not many women her age in the novel (Jane Fairfax is not a permanent member of her society, even if they did get on better) and she doesn’t have many friends. So I think in part she is lonely.
Harriet admires her and Emma feels she can help her, which Emma finds gratifying.
I also think her mother being dead and her father being / claiming to be unwell, has placed responsibilities on her that maybe it shouldn’t have and everyone has assumed she is a bit more grown up than she is.
But you also have to blame the classist society at the time. That sets up a dynamic that Emma is better than Harriet and should be looking to help her. It also isolates Emma from friendship with some of the young women who are in the village or thereabouts.
I agree that part of Emma's issue may be a lack of the maturity that she is assumed by some to have because of her family circumstances have given her a position of certain responsibility.
Good points. I had a related question. When Emma says that she couldn't be friends with her if Harriet married mr. Martin, was that Emma's pride/prejudice against his/their class, or would it have been seen as unseemly for her to associate with them? I mean, she visits the Bates ladies, and I think they aren't as high as she is socially? Or are they?
The Bates family were ‘distressed gentlefolk’ I.e. they had been a similar class to Emma (perhaps not as wealthy), but had fallen on hard times. Miss Bates did not marry and that might have given them difficulties. I guess a bit like the Dashwoods in Sense and Sensibility. Similar vein in this book (but angrier): https://persephonebooks.co.uk/products/alas-poor-lady?variant=31828811972675
Mr Martin might be better off financially than the Bates, but he was from a different class so Emma couldn’t see them, but had a duty to be kind to the Bates.
In a way it is pride/prejudice, but not Emma’s so much as society’s. It’s set in a highly classist society.
A bit later when some people started making money from trade, they were able to start moving in higher levels of society, but looked down on for making money that way.