This Week's Miscellany (06/03/23)

Guilting Myself into Writing, Friendship for Sale, Restoring the Canon of Literature, Bus Stops, and Catholic Fiction

Hello to new subscribers and welcome all to another edition of This Week’s Miscellany. TWM is full of my favorite things from around the web, typically trending literary.

I write to you from a strange little AirBnB apartment in Midtown Tallahassee where I’m spending the weekend hiding from my family so that I actually have to write a book I have under contract. I’ve been procrastinating, but with the cost of this little rental glaring at me, I’m guilting myself into actually writing—no excuses!

I picked this AirBnB because it’s walking distance from one of my favorite little cafes where I went this morning for good coffee and their incredible apricot glazed smoked salmon that they put in an omelette for you with garlic dill cream cheese. (Heavenly!)

While I sat in sweet silence drinking my coffee, I was remembering the last time we lived in Tallahassee in our little house in Midtown with 3 kids age 4 and under. We would walk to this sweet cafe and what I remember was the absolute chaos. Grits in the toddlers’ hair. Desperation trying to keep the very adventurous baby from jumping out of her high chair. Breakfast was an Olympic sport and I never felt like I was winning. I was so tired. Too tired to imagine a season when I wouldn’t be needed by my babies all day and all night. Too tired to really believe that there would be a season like this—my teenager starting his first shift at his first job, my 10yo flying solo to visit my parents, the other girls happily hanging out with Daniel while I stay at an AirBnB for the weekend writing a new book.

I couldn’t imagine any of this. It felt like I would always be needed by everyone at every moment forever. And sure, this season has its own challenges. The family calendar is enough to give me a panic attack—so many places to be, only two drivers. The drama of the tween and teen years. Having the same conversation one thousand and one times about why we’re saying no to iPhones for the kids. Supervising screens (honestly the very worst part of my life these days). Feeling the gut wrenching realization at how few summers we have left with all four kids at home.

I’m not saying it’s a walk in the park. But I’m not saying it’s harder than the little kid days, either. The sensory overload of homeschooling neurodiverse and high needs little ones—that is a level of burnout I doubt I’ll ever feel again. The almost desperate need to write and do creative work with such little time to pursue anything of my own—it wasn’t easy. But it also wasn’t forever. So, if you are in the trenches with little ones, imagine me saying this in a very Henry Higgins voice, “I know your head aches. I know you're tired. I know your nerves are as raw as meat in a butcher's window. But think what you're trying to accomplish - just think what you're dealing with.” You are loving little souls into the people God created them to be. Hang in there and your day for uninterrupted coffee and writing time (or whatever it is you long for) will come.

This week we also celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary.

My SIL babysat while we went out for cocktails in a lovely downtown bar housed in an old library.

Cheers!

Links

If you read one thing this week, let it be this piece. It’s not only an eviscerating critique of MLM culture. It explores how that culture has entangled itself with other spheres due to how we use the internet and how our sense of friendship been warped with utility. None of us are guiltless.

Selling Friends by Clare Coffey for Plough

…let me hasten to add that no group so clearly mimics the dynamics of MLMs as (ahem) professional and semi-professional writers. In both cases, the public-facing figure is aspirational: here, a professional doing her own creative work, far away from both the genteel indignities of nine-to-five life and the private oblivion of housewifery. In both cases, the work is usually supplemental to another source of family income. And in both cases the aspirations involved are narrowly targeted to a specific demographic: basic, Joanna Gaines–loving housewives on the one hand; English majors working at nonprofits and hoping rents don’t rise faster than they can pay off their student loans on the other. And in both cases, that aspiration – and the allure of proximity that comes with it – are where the real money is. The best way to make money as a writer is not to sell words. It is to sell enough words in prestigious and fashionable spaces, to cultivate enough of a persona, that you are invited to give talks and lead workshops and finally, one day, secure a post at a creative-writing program. There, you will mentor the next generation of aspiring professional writers. More for your downline.

I remember at some point realizing that the “writers” who were often featured at conferences and had bestselling books and courses wrote about one thing only: being a writer. They were selling the idea that they could teach you how to be make a living as a writer. They weren’t creating anything beyond that. It was actually, well, a grift.

And another must-read from Jessica Hooten Wilson on why including women and non-white/western writers in the classical canon isn’t simply a matter of being representative:

Restoration, Not Representation for Law and Liberty

I’m not being woke in proposing we read Sappho—Raphael shows her in his 1511 painting. Nor am I being a feminist in wanting to read Julian of Norwich—T.S. Eliot quotes her in his 1945 “Four Quartets”; she is already in the tradition despite our attempts to sideline her. I don’t want to tokenize minority voices, to throw out Virgil to make room for Terence because the latter was Libyan. I am merely suggesting that classical, Christian education be as restorative in its movement as it promises to be: telling the whole of history from the beginning of the world to now, from Japan and India to Africa and America; sharing the classics from Babylon alongside those of Greece; showing that classical education has always been for everyone and does not belong merely to some people.

YES.

I loved Chris Arnade’s book Dignity and I find his reflections on American life so insightful. In this piece he talks about bus stops and the problem with living in a low trust/high regulation society:

Why the US Can’t Have Nice Things by Chris Arnade

I am however sure that we have a problem, and unless it’s addressed, it’s not that I’m worried that more and more people are going to choose to move overseas. That’s a luxury most don’t have, or want. Rather, unless it’s addressed, we are going to continue to provide our citizens towns and cities that don’t work. That are broken.

And last but not least, this great piece for Dappled Things

We still have no Catholic fiction? By Katy Carl

In truth, the contemporary scene is flooded with novelists and fiction writers who treat Catholic themes and topics with profound depth, and/or who bring their Catholic convictions to work that can be enjoyed by any reader of good will. That we could do more to lift up and explore, curate and critique, such fiction is evident. That this work is not best done by complaining about such fiction’s supposed nonexistence is, I hope, tautological. The richness of new Catholic writing is waiting here, right in our midst, our friend, for the asking. (And it could still really use a cup of coffee.)

And in case you missed it, my new book is coming out THIS WEEK is available for pre-order:

Pre-order from my publisher, Pauline Books and Media or from Amazon.

The Year of Jane

We wrapped up Emma and are reading Mansfield Park! Here’s why I think it’s such an excellent novel.

And that’s all folks! Wishing you all a wonderful weekend. This email is free to receive but time-intensive to produce, so I want to offer a huge thank you to Bridget for upgrading to a paid subscription. This is a reader-supported newsletter so if you enjoy getting these emails, please consider supporting this Substack by upgrading to a paid subscription with the button below.

And if you’re not in a position to pledge a monthly subscription but you enjoyed this post, you can always just throw some change in the tip jar.

Thanks for reading!

Haley

(Editor of Word on Fire Spark, Author, Former Podcaster)

Haley’s Children’s Mystery Series about Mouse Nuns

Haley’s Book on Jane Austen’s Novels

Haley’s Book about Radical Simplicity