The Past Five Years

What I would change in The Grace of Enough

Hello to new subscribers and welcome back to longtime friends! I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve got a bit of a long post for you today. Like old school blogging. Don’t want to miss any future posts? Be sure to subscribe.

A friend emailed me recently to ask what, if anything, I would change in my first book about radically pursuing the Gospel, The Grace of Enough. It really make me think, so I’d like to go over a few things I’ve learned since then.

But first: Jane! If you’re new here to join in with a Year of Jane Austen and read all of her novels in 2023, check out some of the details for the project here. And here’s our reading schedule:

Gather your books. There are many editions of Pride & Prejudice out there, so just grab what’s on your shelf or at the local library. And if you enjoy audiobooks, this is an excellent novel to enjoy with a great narrator. Some of my favorite for this novel are Karen Savage and Rosamund Pike. Grab Jane Austen’s Genius Guide to Life from Ave Maria Press (use STEWART20 for 20% off) or from Amazon.

THIS WEEK: Week of January 15th:

Read the Introduction and Chapter 1 of Jane Austen’s Genius Guide to Life

Week of January 22nd:

Chapters 1-12 of Pride & Prejudice

Week of January 29th:

Chapters 13-23 of Pride & Prejudice

Week of February 5th:

Chapters 24-36 of Pride & Prejudice

Week of February 12th:

Chapters 37-48 of Pride & Prejudice

Week of February 19th:

Chapters 49-61 of Pride & Prejudice

Week of February 26th:

Chapter 2 of Jane Austen’s Genius Guide to Life

Zoom Discussion with special guest TBA

So this week, we’re reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 of Jane Austen’s Genius Guide to Life.

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   Let me know how it works for you! The first discussion question is already posted there.

What I’ve Learned in the Past Five Years

Now that the housekeeping is done, here’s what I’ve been considering about my friend Isaiah’s question about what I would say or do differently five years after The Grace of Enough released.

When I wrote The Grace of Enough, we had recently moved from the farm that the memoir portion of the book is set into a teensy little house in North Waco. We had three kids ages 8, 5, and 4 and by the time I was writing the conclusion I was pregnant with our fourth baby, Hildie.

The book is partly our story of leaving stable jobs and our first house in Florida to pursue radical simplicity. We were in our late 20s, Daniel was in a job that was not fulfilling and required long hours away from our family to make ends meet, and we felt like we were in a hamster wheel going nowhere. We wanted to refocus in to faith, family life, and worthwhile work. And we did that by moving to a 650sq ft apartment on a farm with no flushing toilets to learn sustainable agriculture.

Looking back, there really isn’t much I would change about our crazy move. While our decision didn’t make a lot of sense financially, it allowed us to reconnect as a family in an incredible way. And that year on the farm offered the space we needed to pursue work that mattered to us. We are both creators now: I create books, my husband creates whisky. And due to all our crazy adventuring, our family is close.

But would I change anything about the book if I wrote it today? Hmmm. I did my utmost to make the book something that would inspire the imagination of readers to consider how these different themes and pursuits might look in their own lives. I never wanted it to be prescriptive (everybody should not pack up and move to a farm!). Instead, I wanted it to be reflective, helping the reader to ponder: how can I orient my life toward the Gospel? How can I live that truth more actively as a revolt against the throwaway culture that seeks to dehumanize us and will always dissatisfy us?

As I read over the conclusion, I think (I hope!) that’s what I achieved.

If I were undergoing the same epiphanies today, our goals would be similar: family life, faith, reconnection with the goodness of God’s creation. But life is pretty different for us now due to the season of life we are in. It’s much easier to uproot kids when they’re very young like ours were when we made our move to the farm (2,3, and 5). We recently moved back to Florida to be closer to extended family and moving older kids is tough. But we continue to make decisions based not on what is easiest but what we truly believe will help our children thrive. And for their current ages, being close to extended family has become more important. And we want to be nearby our parents as they age.

But the reality of different seasons of life do have such an impact on discerning big life decisions. When our children were younger and homeschooling was a good fit for them, it made sense to give up things like square footage so that we could live on one income. Now that our kids are entering the teen years (and we’ve discovered that due to neurodivergencesome of them need the structure of conventional school that we were struggling to create with homeschooling) our family work setup has shifted to provide what our kids need. What is best for our family life now is different because we’re in a stage where our kids have different needs.

So what would I emphasize if I we writing The Grace of Enough today? Don’t get stuck in a box: family life comes in seasons. Don’t fixate on one way to do things as the only way. Families are more complicated than that!

And I’d also emphasize grace for yourself. Prioritizing family togetherness is important, but I wish I had given myself more breaks so I could be a healthier, more engaged mother. I discovered during Covid how depleted I was and how desperate my brain was for a break from the overstimulation of homeschooling. Your needs matter, too. You are also part of your family and worthy of care! Don’t hold yourself to impossible standards.

And different seasons, personalities, and circumstances call for different approaches to living simply. Be generous. Don’t buy in to a consumerist attitude. Focus on things of eternal value: faith and human beings. And your mental health has value, too. Living simply doesn’t mean eroding your mental health through financial stress. We have had seasons during our almost 17 year marriage of living under the poverty line. It takes a toll. Be gentle with yourself. Sacrifice for what matters but don’t make your life harder because it feels holier.

I think I would also share that as I shared in The Grace of Enough, we prayerfully discerned a crazy thing: giving up everything to live in EXTREME simplicity on a farm with no flushing toilets for a year. And it definitely didn’t ruin our lives. Our kids are thriving, our marriage is thriving. I couldn’t love my career more. Focusing on faith and family life will mean going against the grain of our consumerist culture and sometimes that means courageous and bold decisions—but it doesn’t mean the same actions for every family.

I’m grateful that this little book is still being read and enjoyed almost five years post-publication. Here’s a little GoodReads review that came in this week that made my day: “As a parent, I found this book to be a valuable resource worthy of revisiting (so I bought a copy). The author is generous in how much of her inner and outer life is shared throughout these pages. There are also practical tips and resources shared on how to live more simply, to be more connected with family and community, and to navigate the noise of contemporary society's push for embracing only individualism and technology. I love the chapter on The Weasley family from Harry Potter and another home being one's first "school"...If a book is a parent and its reader is the child, I felt supported enough, challenged enough, and loved enough through this reading experience.” Thanks, Andrew!

You can grab a copy here and if you’ve read you can make my day by leaving a review on Amazon or GoodReads.

What I’m Reading

I just finished some great books:

East of Eden by John Steinbeck (re-read)

The Abolition of Man by C.S. Lewis (re-read, but it’s been so long, it felt like the first time!)

Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell (first time—LOVED it.)

A Ring of Endless Light by Madeleine L’Engle (audiobook)

Know someone who would enjoy this newsletter? Send them my way.

What are you currently reading? Please share in the comments!