Is Travel Just a Band-Aid?

Or is it medicine?

I’m Haley. Book midwife (editor), author, and single mom of four. Consider upgrading to a paid subscription to support my family and gain access to exclusive content:

My heart was pounding as I sat on the down on the dark grey rock to catch my breath next to my teenage daughter and take in the glorious view that surrounded us. From the top of Arthur’s Seat you can see all of Edinburgh and beyond where the grey/gold stone buildings give way to the ocean. If you squint, you can see the Firth of Forth, an inlet of the North Sea.

The wind whipped my hair about until I secured it with a clip at the nape of my neck. Had I realized just how much climbing would be involved in the hike to the top, I might have worn better shoes than Converse All Stars and certainly would have worn shorts instead of the loose, flowy sundress I had on.

But I made it to the top all the same.

I have traveled a great deal since my marriage ended a year ago. I have traveled so much that I feel almost embarrassed about it. Am I just distracting myself from feeling the grief? Am I escaping from reality? I was worried I was using travel as a Band-Aid, merely covering up the wound rather than tending to it. Then someone advised me, “rather than seeing this as a coping mechanism, I think this is you rediscovering a part of yourself, something you love. Something that brings you joy and healing.”

Traveling is indeed something I have always loved, but I didn’t travel much as a child. And the early years of motherhood did not allow many opportunities. I was married at 20, was pregnant at 22, and then for 13 years was either pregnant or breastfeeding and trying to keep my head above water with many small children to raise. (Not the ideal travel season, which is perfectly fine.)

My then-spouse was in a perpetual cycle of changing careers that I enabled by being the ever-supportive young wife. Move across the country again for the unpaid internship you think will finally make you happy? I’ll call the realtor and list the house! For almost all of our married life, we were on a shoestring budget (or hovering just above or below the poverty line). Again, not conducive to travel.