Homeschooling Is Not the Answer to School Shootings
Resigning ourselves to these tragedies is a sickness--we can't lose hope.
I’ve been using this Substack to do two things: write about Jane Austen, and share charming tidbits about literature, education, and faith. I have no desire to be a thought leader or hot take haver. I just want to write about books and will go back to doing so tomorrow. But I simply can’t share tomorrow’s This Week’s Miscellany without first sharing what’s weighing on my heart. (I simply don’t have the energy this week to argue with strangers on the internet, so comments on this post will be open only to paid subscribers with whom I share a certain level of trust.)
My fourteen-year-old son whispered to me, out of range of his little sisters, “There was another school shooting today. In Nashville this time.”
“I know.”
I knew. I hate that he knew, too. I hate that it’s only a matter of time before his sisters hear about it. I hate that my kids must go through active shooter drills. That this possibility lives in their minds. That we must suffer this again and again.
They come home to tell me all about the drills while I pretend to take it in stride.
I do not take it in stride.
The nausea that comes with news of more dead kids. The nausea that this is considered an acceptable price for American gun culture to thrive. My friends living overseas ask, “how can you bear it?” And the answer is that I can’t. It is unbearable to have this happen over and over and the response is “we can’t fix this.”
I note on social media that this is not a regular occurrence in countries with stricter gun laws–that other countries only experienced a tragedy like this once and that changes they made worked. The last school shooting in Scotland was over a quarter of a century ago. Their response prevented it from ever happening again. It’s suggested that what we have is a lack of Jesus and poor mental healthcare—while I agree, I don’t see that highly secularized Europe (where mental illness also exists) has the same problems we do. But they do have fewer guns.
And the most common reply I received in response to my grief was “If you don’t like it, just homeschool.”
In other words, this will keep happening because we will do nothing to stop it and if you don’t want your children murdered, keep them within the walls of your home and know that whenever you step outside, they are at risk.
I’m sorry, I don’t accept that. Whether you agree with me (and the USCCB) on whether we need to temper our out-of-control obsession with guns in this country or not, I hope you’ll find this most common response to my grief over my children growing up in this environment–an exhortation to homeschool–completely deranged. Not because educating your children at home is crazy, of course. I homeschooled my own children for over a decade. I’m a strong supporter of homeschooling. I’ve keynoted homeschooling conferences for goodness sake! But the idea that it could be acceptable to live in a society where children are murdered in their school uniforms as long as your children are safe at home disturbs me greatly.
Homeschooling is not a solution to mass shootings. I could indeed go back to homeschooling my children, but as we’ve seen, they could be gunned down at a grocery store, a concert, a parade, at church. The problem with kids being shot at school isn’t solved by removing the school from the equation any more than the problem with patrons being shot at a grocery store is shopping for bananas. What each situation holds in common isn’t hard to work out.
I want to live in a society where every child can be educated without fear of being murdered at school. This is not too much to ask.
We need to ask why this doesn’t happen regularly in other countries. We need to examine what steps they’ve taken that worked. There is something very sick about a culture that takes no action and is resigned to this cycle of unbearable grief.
I know that your opinions on what will solve this horror may be different from what I think will solve it. But apart from the unhinged few who are resigned to children only being safe from being shot to death if they don’t leave their homes, I think most Americans haven’t accepted such a disturbing and nihilistic view. Other countries have solved this. Yes, our pathological obsession with guns in this country makes it much more difficult for us to solve. But I refuse to accept that it’s impossible. I won’t accept it. And I’m willing to work with those who have solutions even if those steps are very small. I don’t think you want to accept mass murders of schoolchildren as a reality of American life, either, even if you disagree with me about how restrictive our gun laws should be. Whatever this awful situation is, it isn’t simple to solve. But I beg you not to accept a country in which you cannot kiss your children goodbye in the morning wondering if they’ll survive the day. This is no way to live.
My dear friend Laura Fanucci has started an initiative emphasizing the hope and motion we need to move forward. It’s apolitical. It’s not telling you how to solve it. It’s encouraging all of us to something, because nothing doesn’t seem to be working. I will focus my efforts on gun laws. You may focus on school security. Others may focus on mental health services. Fantastic. We need all of it.
Please explore Laura’s initiative For Change, For Kids and please don’t lose hope. We need the hope.
This is a reader-supported newsletter so if you enjoy getting these emails, please consider supporting this Substack by upgrading to a paid subscription with the button below.
Thanks for reading!
Haley
(Editor of Word on Fire Spark, Author, Former Podcaster)
Haley’s Children’s Mystery Series about Mouse Nuns
Thank you for writing this very level-headed take. This "solution" to school shootings has always made me feel a little sick as well. I do currently homeschool, but fully aware that it may just be for a season. My kids my end up in school next year, as far as I know. I hate the knowledge that other mothers and fathers are sending their children to school with this fear in the back of their minds. This should be unacceptable to us.
Anyway, I think you hit the nail on the head by the comparison with other countries who are just as lacking in the Jesus and mental health departments, but who manage to avoid these tragedies. Thanks again.
After reading what you wrote I became a subscriber just to post. (Read your book years ago, followed your podcast and other writings so definitely not a stranger to you!) But everything you said yes. Thank you for using your platform for not just thoughts and prayers but for action and facts.