Believing Truer Stories About Ourselves

Less of a new me and more of discovering what was always there

I’m Haley. Book midwife (editor), author, and single mom of four. Consider upgrading to a paid subscription to support this work and gain access to exclusive content:

So this is the new year. And (apologies to Ben Gibbard’s new year’s ballad) but I feel REALLY different.

On January 1st, 2024 I believed lots of stories about myself and my marriage that simply weren’t true. The dissonance between reality and the deception I was led to believe were affecting my whole body.

I haven’t read The Body Keeps Score (yet), but I understand it’s premise of how trauma affects our physical health. Our bodies can be telling us important things that our conscious mind isn’t comprehending, dealing with, or ready for.

While I had no conscious knowledge that something was very off in my marriage, I was anxious, experiencing panic attacks, having trouble sleeping, and (when I did sleep) having terrible nightmares. I was getting sick all of the time. Multiple times a month. I realize now my body was trying to tell me something was wrong. It knew before my mind did.